THE $100,000.00 COMMIE CHALLENGE
Fri Sep 1 05:52:22 MDT 1995
Remarks made by JeffK and Wheatley got me thinking. They said something
to the effect of if I really could or would have organized anyone or
some shit I'd have done it.
Well, Jeff and GF, not true. You see, organizing is a lot of work, and
it's less fun than reading Eric Kandel's _Principles of Neural Science_
with my .3mm mechanical pencil and the "Question to the Margin" technique.
But, as the guy said in the movie 'Risky Business', every once in a
while you've got to say, "What the fuck?" . . . so I'm issuing
the $100,000.00 COMMIE CHALLENGE.
Here's the challenge:
Any commie/trot group in the U.S. (or group of groups, excluding Maoist
scumbags) can pay me $100,000.00 cash up front, and in exchange I will
organize 1,500 workers for them.
Let's put this offer in perspective.
ISO: most successful Trot group in U.S. Been in existence since 1977,
organizes 800 people (approx membership) in 22 years.
WL: only group on left to oppose Curtis lie (of course, they have many
crazy ideas as baggage to go along with it), best looking paper. 50-75
people approx current membership after 29 years of existence.
SWP: Lowest membership since 1938. 400-500 current members. Probably
organized -500 people in last 25 years.
Sparts: Maybe 150 members. Stagnant membership at best. Some split
Etcetera etcetera blah blah blah.
The conditions for my offer are as follows:
1. I will smoke cigars on and off all party premises, and may
occasionally blow cigar smoke in Jack Barnes's, Dave North's,
James Robertson's, or Nat Weinstein's ugly mugs.
2. Said commie group or groups will provide me with a small staff
which will have to follow my instructions. This staff will not be
comprised of the biggest losers in the group(s).
3. I will not change my place of residence from Manhattan Island.
4. I will not sell newspapers unless I choose to.
5. All party leaderships must kiss my ass unremitently (sp?)(word?)
6. After the 1,500 are organized, I have no further obligation to the
group(s). I anticipate the project will last 15 months at most.
7. All members of my staff must read Louis-Ferdinand Celine's _Mort
a Credit_ (Ralph Mannheim translation)
This offer does not mean that I agree with any communist views at this
time or will should I be employed.
Furthermore, the money is nonrefundable, thus the chances of anyone
"splitting" with me are HIGHLY unlikely.
(___ at ______}}} S C O T T S O L O M O N
//// . . . He can shout for two hours on end at those trade union black-
mail sessions. No one can make Leonce shut up . . . if anybody tries to
change a single word in one of his motions, he blows his top. He can
shout louder than a colonel. He's built like a brick shithouse. He
can't be beat for hot air . . . Cast iron. That's him. He's secretary
of the Bricklayers and Roofers' Union of Vanves La Revolte. Elected no
less. His buddies are proud of Leonce, the lazy pugnacious bastard. For
pimping on the labor movement he hasn't his equal.
-- Louis-Ferdinand Celine
_Mort a Credit_
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