Conversation overheard in Swedish security
Louis N Proyect
lnp3 at columbia.edu
Thu Jun 27 09:10:50 MDT 1996
(Conversation overheard in Swedish intelligence agency between Lars
Gunnersonvaldterberger and Sven Olafssonquisterborgegaard, two
master security operatives.)
Lars: We have to do something about Malecki. His book is stirring up
the workers over at Saab.
Sven: You mean that book that reveals the ties between the Swedish
military and the Guatemalan death squads?
Lars: Oh, no. You're thinking of Professor Witold Malecki over at the
University of Oslo political science department. He is just a Latin
American expert, a pointy-headed intellectual. I'm talking about
Robert Malecki "in exile", the author of the belly-button memoirs. He
is much more dangerous to the status quo.
Sven: Oh, *that* Malecki.
Lars: Yes, his book is being passed from worker to worker on all of the
assembly lines in heavy industry. The lesson of this belly-button book
seems to be that if you want to bring about socialist revolution in
Sweden, you should retire from political or trade-union struggles and
write a memoir celebrating your colorful life. Could you imagine the
impact on Swedish capitalism if the proletarian masses all took up
vanity publishing? No cars or airplanes would be produced. No surplus
value would be generated. The system would come to a grinding halt.
Sven: What should we do?
Lars: Not to worry. I have the ultimate solution. I've arranged with the
US State Department to drop all legal charges against Malecki. We
will then put him on the next plane back to Kennedy Airport in New
York. Let the Americans have him back.
Sven: There's only one slight problem with that. Have you ever seen a
photo of Malecki? He is 800 pounds and will never fit into a airplane
seat, or even a row of seats. Apparently this fellow has no job and eats
like a pig. Since he has never walked a picket line or marched in a
demonstration, all our good Swedish pastries have stuck to him.
Lars: No problem. I will arrange to put him into a container ship. We
just have to make sure there is no other cargo aboard.
Sven: Excellent. Swedish capitalism will survive!
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