The Petty Bourgeoisie, a Giant & a Goose
jokoe at minot.com
Mon May 13 21:14:34 MDT 1996
From: Joe Koenigsman [jokoe at minot.com]
This is the true story of the "Jack & The Bean Stalk" legend, that Karl
Marx never told us about.
The Petty Bourgeoisie, the Giant & a Goose That Laid Golden Eggs
by Joe Koenigsman
There once was a little old proletarian lady, who owned an old cow.
The cow, wasn't good for much, because it ate a lot of grass, and didn't
give much milk. The cow only gave milk once a day, and there was hardly
enough to feed the old lady, because the milk often didn't fill a small
The old lady had to cut lot's of grass every day to feed the cow, and
it was hard work; but after the cow was fed, it gave her milk. Several
times, the old lady thought of killing the cow, and having a good meal.
With the cow gone, she wouldn't have to cut so much grass, which was
hard work. But she knew, if the cow was gone, there'd be no more milk,
and she'd starve. So, she quietly cut the grass each day, and when
finished, she had her bowl of milk.
One day, a petty bourgeoisie came by, and seeing how hard the old lady
worked cutting grass, he said, "Oh! mother, you shouldn't work so hard.
I'll take your cow, and you won't have to spend your day cutting grass
to feed it!" Before the old lady could answer, the bourgeoisie had a
rope on the cow, and lead it away. The old lady was left with nothing.
This is why proletarians, shouldn't trust bourgeoisie, who talk nice to
them. While you listen to nice words, they steal your cow!
As the petty bourgeoisie lead the cow down the road, he met another
bourgeoisie, who offered to trade him a bag of "magic beans" for the old
cow. Seeing chance to make profit, the petty bourgeoisie sold the stolen
cow, and walked on with the beans. He knew it was a good investment. He
could plant the beans, and have a big bean crop, instead of an old cow,
that only gave a small bowl of milk every day. Besides, scattering beans
over a field, to make a crop, was far less work then cutting grass every
day. The petty bourgeoisie hated work, so he knew the trade, was a good
When he came to an empty field, the bourgeoisie staked it out, and
called it his property. All bourgeoisie believe, if they squat on land,
and call it theirs, it gives them some kind of property ownership. The
petty bourgeoisie, then scattered the beans all over the field, to make
a crop. But, after a couple of days, he saw the beans didn't grow. This
was because he didn't water them. It p-ssed him off! He was pretty mad
because he believed he had been cheated out of the cow, he stole.
The petty bourgeoisie, was about to report the other bourgeoisie
entrepreneur, to the security, stocks & trades commission, for cheating
him on the exchange. This is how bourgeoisie operate. They like to screw
each other on a deal, but, when one gets the worst of a deal, they bitch
to the government, and cry for justice!
But, before he could turn the other entrepreneur in to the law, the
bourgeoisie noticed, one small bean had began growing in the field. This
was where a passing proletarian stopped to eat, and emptied his water
jug. The bean sprout was coming up pretty fast, and before long, the
bean stalk had grown clear to the sky, and nestled in a cloud. Seeing
this wonder, the petty bourgeoisie decided to climb the stalk. He liked
adventure, especially where it involved capital. So, he climbed the
stalk to see what fortune would bring. "This is why all "hair brain'ed"
business schemes need "venture capital."
When the petty bourgeoisie got to the top of the bean stalk, he found
he was in a land, of an aristocratic bourgeoisie, called a "capitalistic
giant." Wandering around, the petty bourgeoisie suddenly ran into the
The giant yelled out, "Fe, Fi, Fo Fa, with my great claw - I pick the
bones, of petty boorzhwa!" The terrified bourgeoisie cried out, "Oh!
Oh! Please King Giant, don't eat me. If you let me go, I'll give you
names of a bunch of proletarians to eat. The first one is a little
old lady, who doesn't have a cow any longer. She'll be a tasty morsal."
The bourgeoisie then said, "Big giant, if you let me go, I'll work
for you forever." - "I'LL GIVE YOU BLOWJOBS, AND SUCK UP TO YOU, AND
KISS YOUR ARSE! YOU'LL LIKE IT!" - "Please don't eat me!"
So the giant, let the petty bourgeoisie go. The giant then climbed
down the bean stalk, grabbed the little old lady, and feasted on her
bones. And every day thereafter, the bourgeoisie gave the giant a new
name of a proletarian to eat. He even gave the giant, the name of the
other bourgeoisie, who traded him the magic beans, for the cow. That
petty bourgeoisie knew, government liked to help entrepreneur business
interests, even when it finds out, the business is breaking the law. So,
turning the other bourgeoisie, over to the giant, was the only way. This
goes to show, bourgeoisies can't trust another bourgeoisies, even when
they have business deals!
After some years, of "selling out" proletarians, the bourgeoisie
discovered that the giant, owned a "magic goose that laid golden eggs."
So, in the dark of night, the bourgeoisie stole the giant's magic goose,
and climbed down the bean stalk; which shows, that even aristocratic
bourgeoisie, shouldn't trust petty bourgeoisie!
The petty bourgeoisie then cut down the bean stalk, so the capitalist
giant couldnt climb down the stalk, and catch him for stealing the magic
goose." And, after the stalk was gone, the bourgeoisie went up and down
the land, telling the proletarians that, he saved them from being eaten
by the aristocrat capitalistic giant. The naive proletarians believed
him, so he became respected, and was looked on as a great man, in the
land of the proletarians!
Because the bourgeoisie, controlled the goose that layed golden eggs,
he got quite wealthy. He used the golden eggs to buy proletarian grain,
and before long, he controlled the entire economy in the land of the
The proletarians, worked hard growing grain, and the bourgeoisie made
all the profits. If the proletarians complained, and asked to keep some
grain for themselves, the entrepreneurial bourgeoisie would hold up the
magic goose, and say, "If you're not satisfied with your lot, then I'll
have you replaced on your jobs. I can get cheaper workers, with this
magic goose. So, the proletarians, kept their mouths shut, and continued
working hard to produce grain They needed their jobs, and didn't want to
be replaced like Union workers. With the complaints under control, the
petty bourgeoisie got richer and richer.
But, the bourgeoisie was sad. He couldn't be as good as a "capitalist
giant." The giant, was an aristocratic bourgeoisie who lived on a huge
estate in the sky. The giant was above everybody. This was true, and the
giant was so arrogant, he no longer called himself a "capitalist." The
giant now called himself a "multi-national capitalist" because he was
above everybody, and everything, including the law! The giant commanded
armies, and made countries go to war. All nations, had to bow down to
the "multi-national capitalist" so he could make more profits!
This p-ssed off the petty bourgeoisie, because he was a bourgeoisie
also, and viewed himself, just as aristocratic as the giant. After all,
they both made profits, feeding on proletarians. But, the bourgeoisie
couldn't go back to the sky, because that bean stalk was cut down.
In spite of this, the bourgeoisie remembered working directly for the
giant. But, most of all, he remembered the "SUCKING UP!" So, when the
proletarians complained the most, the bourgeoisie would go, to where
the bean stalk had stood, and like a coyote, with his mouth point toward
the sky. When he did this, if you listened closely, you could hear the
"SUCKING" sound. The bourgeoisie had a dumb belief, if he kept "SUCKING
UP" to the "capitalist giant" in the sky, someday the giant might throw
down a rope, and let him climb back to the big estate where he'd become
an aristocratic bourgeoisie!
It was disappointing but, in the land of the proletarians, the petty
bourgeoisie still had a good thing going, and he knew it! He didn't have
to feed the goose very much grain, and it kept laying golden eggs. But,
as he forced the goose, to lay more eggs, it seemed more and more grain
was needed. This cut into the bourgeoisie's profits, and he didn't like
it at all. If the dumb goose got more grain, the proletarians might want
more, and this would be a disaster.
So, the bourgeoisie went to the government, and they were glad to help
out! The government passed a minimum wage law, and kept it extremely
low, so it wouldn't cut into the bourgeoisie's profits. They even put a
clause in the minimum wage law, so the bourgeoisie wouldn't even have to
pay as much wage, as the minimum called for, if he determined training
was needed. This worked fine for the bourgeoisie. With the new law, he
didn't have to feed the magic goose much grain, and it still had to lay
golden eggs. "It was the law!" When that goose started hissing, and
honking because it was hungry, the bourgeoisie just pointed to the law
and told the goose to be satisfied. And, if the goose began forgetting
what it was doing, the bourgeoisie made determination that training was
needed, and the goose was fed less grain, as training incentative. This
worked out great. The grain the goose didn't eat made more profits for
the bourgeoisie. This was good "capitalist" business, and the government
supported him 100 percent. After all, the land of the proletarians had a
free market economy, and didn't follow any "failed socialist policies."
Then one day, the goose died. It didn't bother the petty bourgeoisie
much, because after all, that old goose was only a "welfare case" which
the bourgeoisie had to support. The goose was nothing more than a drain
on profits. Good riddence! So, he cooked the magic goose and ate it!
But, after a while, the bourgeoisie missed the "golden eggs" which he
had got from the magic goose, and decided to do something about it. He
told the proletarians, he was going to reduce their wages to a minimum
wage, as required by law. He told them, they'd only get the same amount
of grain, he gave to the magic goose. Furthermore, each of them would
have to lay "golden eggs." When the proletarians didn't give him any
"golden eggs," the petty bourgeoisie told them, they were too stupid,
and needed training. So, as an incentative, he reduced their grain below
the minimum level, to teach them to follow orders!
The result was revolution, and a dictatorship of the proletariat was
established to form a socialist society, without any bourgeoisie. Today,
there are not many people in the land of the proletarians, who own any
"golden eggs" but, all of the workers eat. It's what Marx predicted!
The moral of this story is, the capitalists can steal from the
workers; they can engage in unscrupulous business practices; they can
lay claim to the land and resources, and call it their property; they
can lie, and steal from each other; they can betray workers and others
to their doom; they can "SUCK UP" and "ASS KISS" more powerful
capitalists for personal advantage; they can greedly corner a nation's
economy, for their own use; they can hold down worker's wages, to make
more profits; they can callously cast off the needy; but eventually,
they will "Cook Their Own Goose, and Eat It!" When this occurs, there
will be revolution, and the workers will set up a better society, which
gives equality to all!
In comradship, jokoe at minot.com
A greedy capitalist might trade a stolen cow,
for some magic beans, and grow a bean stalk to
the giant's land.
And, the greedy capitalist might steal the
giant's magic goose, that lays golden eggs.
And, if capitalist is smart, he might cut
down the stalk, so the giant can't climb down,
and catch him.
But, if the greedy capitalist is too the
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