Hot from the Slavoj Zizek Masturbatorium
yu217096 at SPAMyorku.ca
Sat Dec 18 13:27:05 MST 1999
Can someone explain this please.
M A Jones wrote:
> HOW TO POLISH YOURSELF OFF, SERB-STYLE
> "Hoy, Dudes!!!!
> Moy naim, iss Slavoj. I yam from big seeti, Belhgrad, you know? But now I hit BIG
> TAIM!!! Lekchurs!!! Gurls!!! Big pisstake of gobbliguk in New York Reviw of Buks,
> big seminars in Oxford, Englund in big lekchur halls where gurls sittin wiv
> legs akimbo, moufs agape, men, you wooden beleev!!! So fuckin EASY to score,
> And not only LEKCHURS!!! Naow I yam to Hollyvut for Big taim PICTURE!!! Bruce
> WILLIS goin to star in BIOPIC of OLE SLAVOJ, mi kamerardie!!!! This big SEKRET I
> tell just to YOU!!! For your eyess ONLY, me leetle frend, you know why I konfaid
> in you thiss way? Kos you leetle tiny helpless bug-eyed email freak, need a leetle
> help in your life or a jerkoff anyway,.
> But first dere frend, I kees you and I tell you leetle somefink about life of
> I born unt bred in old Belhgrad.
> Iss verra beeg seeti, lotov nais gurls. I yam teksi-draiverr in Belhgrad. I ken do
> for you, WHATEVER!!! WHATEVER!!! you laik!
> Slavoj can fiks it!!!!
> Nait-kloob, gurls, bit of snort, bitov smak, whatever, Slavoj fiksit. Kak we saiy,
> No Problemo. Slavoj fiks everfink. Lotov sisters, big femili, me. And that's not
> ALL!!! Know wjat? We heckers in Belhgrad, we fiks the Net damn gut, during
> leetl Kosovo misunderstanding we get Yanks to piss on Chinkie embassy real
> good, we give Madeleine Albright big mustache on Foggy Bottom website,
> we do anyfink Slobo want, cash transfer thru Bank of New York, we Belhgrad
> heckers fiksit real gut, no fiks, no fee, get results. Now Chinese Peepl's
> Republic gonna give $300 million to Slobo! Not bad!! Yeah!!!
> So now we all famous dudes on Net!!!
> Now like I say, I yam even verry famous BIG guy in Hollyvut!! I get
> Stephan Shpeelburg here, want to make nais film of Slavoj, I got nais retainer,
> ten percent of action know what I mean??? And why? Why little Slavoj get alla
> dis big pee-err?? Nuts about the NET!!! That's why! I run thees webpage,
> I sign webpage SLAVOJ KISS YOU!!! unt you know WJAT???
> You wooden BELIEVE, number of gurls who apply!!! Like I mean,, MILLIONS of gurls,
> tasty, tender, just-basted, not so basted, whatevr, apply to Slavoj for
> satisfaction, BIG KISSING unt no guilt, thassa main think!!! Nais leetle
> Europeans, Japanese slitty-eyed gurls, Californian CHICKS (Wow, man!) unt wjat I
> gotta do??? THEN AGAIN, RUSSIAN chiks!!!!! Wow, check eet out, men!!! Juss show
> the gurls little bit Belhgrad NAITLIFE, leetle bit GREEK coffee, nais Apollonian
> brandy, and BUM-BUM!!! Give them little talk-talk, Linguaphone style, big TONGUE,
> we talk UNTITTED NATIONS, we talk FILOSOPHIA, endocrinology, postmodernism, stuff
> like that, then we drive around leetle bit, inspect big linden trees, press years
> to bark, listen to sap rising, smell scent of nostalgic linden blossoms and
> BINGO!!! Again BOOM-BOOM!!! know what I mean???? Talk a leetle bit more filosophia
> (all Yugoslav teksi-driverss pass spercial state EXAMEN na filosophie, all hev to
> read little HEIDEGGER, leetyl GEGEL, leetl SCHOPEHNAUER, all that kinda stuff,
> than agin BINGO!!! leetl bit KANT!!! Me, Slavoj, I bin studying KANT all my life,
> know what I mean!!! I got so much time put in chekking out leetl bit Kraut
> ding-an-sich here, leetl bit Yankee Kant there, ili Japanese Kant, post-kant,
> whatever, all saim think, hear creaking of KNICKER-ELASTIC one more time,
> ekshully, more CREAKING if MORE SYLLABLES PER WORD -- this
> main lessom wjat I hev learnt, mi kamaradies, learn leetle bit howe to score
> from OLD SLAVOJ!!! Talk more, fuck more!!
> This main lessun of pomo lekchur circuit, men. Old Slavoj, he very
> experienced TEKSI draiverr, teach you sometink SPERCIAL, men!!! even
> post-propter-kant, (snachet, nazivayetsa, "sodomy" na angliskum, ie.,
> epistemological subyekt exist prior to big dark obyekt boring into same from
> behind, sneeki Berkeleyan surpise attack, but complate FAILURE know what I
> mean!!!! Subyekt totally AWARE of same OBYEKT and NOT BLEIVE it is only
> fantasmagoric product of leetl serbian grey cells working owvertaim -- But also at
> same time kompleet SUKSESS! Because by time SUBYEKT conscious again, whole think
> DONE AND DUSTED!!!! )
> OK, iss enuf for now, mi kameradie. LISSEN UP Dudes!!! Slavoj gonna give big
> LEKCHUR about CHAIRMAN MAO, you know why? Kos chairman Mao, he a big
> pomo thinker before his taim, fuck thousands of dinky chinkies by means of
> THOUGHTS which reduce all to silence of lowest common denominator of
> IDENTITY politics which Chairman, Mao, he into in BEEG way.
> Another thing: if you gonna add lotta syllables to words, gotta also make like
> each sentence into one BIG FUCKIN PARAGRAPH and then LEAVE OUT
> PREDICATE or main verb anyway. This get them all to thinking you
> leetle bit genius too, know what I mean????
> Your pel
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