Hot from the Slavoj Zizek Masturbatorium

M A Jones mark at
Sat Dec 18 17:18:18 MST 1999

For what it's worth (nothing) Louis Proyect and I were practically the first on
the Net to DEFEND THE SERBS in the Kosovo war and to proclaim the Serb struggle
for national survival as an important battle for ALL LEFISTISTS  to share.

Irony, man. Get it or you don't, yeah???

Mark Jones

----- Original Message -----
From: Anders Püschel <ahp at>
To: <marxism at>
Sent: Saturday, December 18, 1999 10:20 PM
Subject: SV: Hot from the Slavoj Zizek Masturbatorium

I think it sounds like the kind of satire a porno (not pomo) magazine might
indulge in. It's virulently anti-serbian, though I couldn't help finding it a
little funny in spots (for example, the notion that taxi-drivers in Belgrade
have a degree in philosphy). Of course the premise that a Serb might receive
recognition in the center of the very world that is engaged in destroying his
country, is absurd. For instance, Spielberg would be more likely to make a film
about an Albanian.

Perhaps unlike some on this list I don't think that the serbs should be above
critisism, but any critisism - whether in the form of satire or more sincere
endeavours - should be footed in the realities of life in Serbia. For instance,
the virulent anti-moslem sentiments voiced in films and books.

Anders Püschel
ahp at

-----Ursprungligt meddelande-----
Från: * <yu217096 at>
Till: marxism at <marxism at>
Datum: den 18 december 1999 22:03
Ämne: Re: Hot from the Slavoj Zizek Masturbatorium

>Can someone explain this please.
>M A Jones wrote:
>> "Hoy, Dudes!!!!
>> Moy naim, iss Slavoj. I yam from big seeti, Belhgrad, you know? But now I hit
>> TAIM!!! Lekchurs!!! Gurls!!! Big pisstake of gobbliguk in New York Reviw of
>> big seminars in Oxford, Englund in big lekchur halls where gurls sittin wiv
>> legs akimbo, moufs agape, men, you wooden beleev!!! So fuckin EASY to score,
>> men!!!!!!
>> And not only LEKCHURS!!! Naow I yam to Hollyvut for Big taim PICTURE!!! Bruce
>> WILLIS goin to star in BIOPIC of OLE SLAVOJ, mi kamerardie!!!! This big
>> tell just to YOU!!! For your eyess ONLY, me leetle frend, you know why I
>> in you thiss way? Kos you leetle tiny helpless bug-eyed email freak, need a
>> help in your life or a jerkoff anyway,.
>> But first dere frend, I kees you and I tell you leetle somefink about life of
>> I born unt bred in old Belhgrad.
>> Iss verra beeg seeti, lotov nais gurls. I yam teksi-draiverr in Belhgrad. I
ken do
>> for you, WHATEVER!!! WHATEVER!!! you laik!
>>  Slavoj can fiks it!!!!
>> Nait-kloob, gurls, bit of snort, bitov smak, whatever, Slavoj fiksit. Kak we
>> No Problemo. Slavoj fiks everfink. Lotov sisters, big femili, me. And that's
>> ALL!!! Know wjat? We heckers in Belhgrad, we fiks the Net damn gut, during
>> leetl Kosovo misunderstanding we get Yanks to piss on Chinkie embassy real
>> good, we give Madeleine Albright big mustache on Foggy Bottom website,
>> we do anyfink Slobo want, cash transfer thru Bank of New York, we Belhgrad
>> heckers fiksit real gut, no fiks, no fee, get results. Now Chinese Peepl's
>> Republic gonna give $300 million to Slobo! Not bad!! Yeah!!!
>> So now we all famous dudes on Net!!!
>> Now like I say,  I yam even verry famous BIG guy in Hollyvut!! I get
>> Stephan Shpeelburg here, want to make nais film of Slavoj, I got nais
>> ten percent of action know what I mean??? And why? Why little Slavoj get alla
>> dis big pee-err?? Nuts about the NET!!! That's why! I run thees webpage,
>> I sign webpage SLAVOJ KISS YOU!!! unt you know WJAT???
>> You wooden BELIEVE, number of gurls who apply!!! Like I mean,, MILLIONS of
>> tasty, tender, just-basted, not so basted, whatevr, apply to Slavoj for
>> satisfaction, BIG KISSING unt no guilt, thassa main think!!! Nais leetle
>> Europeans, Japanese slitty-eyed gurls, Californian CHICKS (Wow, man!) unt
wjat I
>> gotta do??? THEN AGAIN, RUSSIAN chiks!!!!! Wow, check eet out, men!!! Juss
>> the gurls little bit Belhgrad NAITLIFE, leetle bit GREEK coffee, nais
>> brandy, and BUM-BUM!!! Give them little talk-talk, Linguaphone style, big
>> we talk UNTITTED NATIONS, we talk FILOSOPHIA, endocrinology, postmodernism,
>> like that, then we drive around leetle bit, inspect big linden trees, press
>> to bark, listen to sap rising, smell scent of nostalgic linden blossoms and
>> BINGO!!! Again BOOM-BOOM!!! know what I mean???? Talk a leetle bit more
>> (all Yugoslav teksi-driverss pass spercial state EXAMEN na filosophie, all
hev to
>> read little HEIDEGGER,  leetyl GEGEL, leetl SCHOPEHNAUER,  all that kinda
>> than agin BINGO!!! leetl bit KANT!!! Me, Slavoj, I bin studying KANT all my
>> know what I mean!!! I got so much time put in chekking out leetl bit Kraut
>> ding-an-sich here, leetl bit Yankee Kant there, ili Japanese Kant, post-kant,
>> whatever, all saim think, hear creaking of KNICKER-ELASTIC one more time,
>> ekshully, more CREAKING if MORE SYLLABLES PER WORD -- this
>> main lessom wjat I hev learnt, mi kamaradies, learn leetle bit howe to score
>> from OLD SLAVOJ!!! Talk more, fuck more!!
>> This main lessun of pomo lekchur circuit, men. Old Slavoj, he very
>> experienced TEKSI draiverr, teach you sometink SPERCIAL, men!!! even
>> post-propter-kant, (snachet, nazivayetsa, "sodomy" na angliskum, ie.,
>> epistemological subyekt exist prior to big dark obyekt boring into same from
>> behind, sneeki Berkeleyan surpise attack, but complate FAILURE know what I
>> mean!!!! Subyekt totally AWARE of same OBYEKT and NOT BLEIVE it is only
>> fantasmagoric product of leetl serbian grey cells working owvertaim -- But
also at
>> same time kompleet SUKSESS! Because by time SUBYEKT conscious again, whole
>> OK, iss enuf for now, mi kameradie. LISSEN UP Dudes!!! Slavoj gonna give big
>> LEKCHUR about CHAIRMAN MAO, you know why? Kos chairman Mao, he a big
>> pomo thinker before his taim, fuck thousands of dinky chinkies by means of
>> THOUGHTS which reduce all to silence of lowest common denominator of
>> IDENTITY politics which Chairman, Mao, he into in BEEG way.
>> Another thing: if you gonna add lotta syllables to words, gotta also make
>> each sentence into one BIG FUCKIN PARAGRAPH and then LEAVE OUT
>> PREDICATE or main verb anyway. This get them all to thinking you
>> leetle bit genius too, know what I mean????
>> Your pel
>> Slavoj

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