Axes of Evil

holly stang jannistang at
Mon Feb 25 18:24:11 MST 2002

This is going the rounds. Hope it hasn't been posted


> >
> >Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the
> "Axis of Evil,"Libya, China, and Syria today
announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil,"
which they said would be far more evil than
the Iran-Iraq-North Korea Axis President Bush
 warned of in his State of the Union address.
Diplomats From Syria denied they were jealous over
 being excluded, although they conceded they did ask
> they could join the Axis of Evil.
> >"They told us it was full," said Syrian President
> Hafez Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three
countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.
"This is not my rule, it's tradition. In
> >World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in
> the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a
secret handshake."
> >
> >
> >International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil
> declaration was swift, as within minutes, France
surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed
to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of
> >geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia said
> they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing
Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of
Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and
Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really
As Just Generally Disagreeable. With the criteria
> suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs
filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda
applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't
the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the
> Olympics.
> >Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the Axis of
> Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly
Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain,
Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of
Countries That Should Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear
Lipstick. " That's not a threat, really, just
something we like to do," said Scottish Executive
First Minister Jack McConnell. While wondering if the
other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun
of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most
although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of
Countries Whose Names End in " Guay," accusing one of
its members of filing a false application. Officials
from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the
charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to
join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said
that's only because no one asked them.

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