# [Marxism] Materialist Analysis!

Dbachmozart at aol.com Dbachmozart at aol.com
Mon Dec 6 13:26:55 MST 2004

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> The following is supposedly an  actual question given on a University
> of Washington chemistry mid-term.  The answer by one student was so
> "profound" that the professor  shared it with colleagues, via the
> Internet, which is, of course, why  we now have the pleasure of
> enjoying it as  well.
>
>  >
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic  (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs  heat)?
>
>  >
> Most of the students wrote proofs  of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
> (gas cools when it expands and heats  when it is compressed) or some
> variant.  One student, however,  wrote the following:
>
>  >
> First, we need to  know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.  So
> we need to know  the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
> rate at which they  are leaving.  I think that we can safely assume
> that once a soul  gets to Hell, it will not leave.  Therefore, no souls
> are  leaving.
>
>  > As for how many souls are entering  Hell, let's look at the different
> religions that exist in the world  today.  Most of these religions
> state that if you are not a member  of their religion, you will go to
> Hell.  Since there is more than  one of these religions and since
> people do not belong to more than one  religion, we can project that
> all souls go to Hell.   With  birth and death rates as they are, we can
> expect the number of souls in  Hell to increase exponentially.
>
> Now, we look at the rate of  change of the volume in Hell because
> Boyle's Law states that in order  for the temperature and pressure in
> Hell to stay the same, the volume  of Hell has to expand
> proportionately as souls are added.  This  gives two possibilities:
>
>  >
>  1.          If Hell is expanding at  a slower rate than the rate at
> which souls enter Hell, then the  temperature and pressure in Hell will
> increase until all Hell breaks  loose.
>
>  >
>  2.          If Hell is expanding at  a rate faster than the increase of
> souls in Hell, then the temperature  and pressure will drop until Hell
> freezes  over.
>
>  >
> So which is  it?
>
>  >> If we accept the postulate given to me  by Teresa during my Freshman
> year that "it will be a cold day in Hell  before I sleep with you,” and
> take into account the fact that I slept  with her last night, then #2
> must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell  is exothermic and has
> already frozen over.   The corollary of  this theory is that since Hell
> has frozen over, it follows that it is  not accepting any more souls
> and is therefore, extinct...leaving only  Heaven, thereby proving the
> existence of a divine Being which explains  why, last night, Teresa
> kept shouting, "Oh my  God."
>
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY  "A."

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