[Marxism] Ten Ways to Become a Better Democrat

M. Junaid Alam junaidalam at msalam.net
Wed Jul 21 19:06:18 MDT 2004

Ten Ways to Become a Better


* - by M. Junaid Alam*

Fellow radicals: recent events have made it clear that the primary task 
facing good people everywhere is unconditional support for the 
Democratic Party, the only party capable not only of removing a very, 
very bad man from office, but also increasing the pay envelope of 
starving and desperate Nation, Salon, MoveOn, and Sierra Club 
coffee-coolata-warriors across America. I submit my humble contribution 
to this effort by offering a list of ten virtues to cultivate in your 
personal journey towards becoming a better Democrat.

*Tip One:* Among friends and coworkers, harp on Bush's status as filthy 
rich millionaire who is out of touch with the American people. If anyone 
reminds you Kerry is also a filthy rich millionaire, owns several 
multimillion dollar homes, and once appeared on the right-wing Don Imus 
show to denounce an electoral opponent as "a guy who takes more 
vacations than people on welfare," quickly spill your Starbucks mocha 
cappuccino deluxe on said miscreant to divert attention and change the 

*Tip Two:* Always remember to attack Bush for cowardly dodging service 
in Vietnam and ducking duties by going AWOL when enlisted in the 
National Guard. Then boast about how Kerry winning and holding onto many 
shiny medals as a reward for participating in the genocidal slaughter of 
two million poor peasants defending their villages against massive 
foreign invasion makes him "tough and responsible." Don't forget to plug 
in Kerry's past courting (for the role of VP runner) Vietnam veteran 
Senator John McCain, who has declared, "I hate the gooks, and I will 
hate them as long as I live." Priceless.


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