[Marxism] Anti-bush humor from Cuba
walterlx at earthlink.net
Sat Jun 26 08:18:39 MDT 2004
(From Cuba, one of my young [he's just a boy of 40]
friends shares the following sentiments with everyone.)
Subject: damian, cuba, anti-bush jokes
Hi, these jokes were originally sent to me in Spanish.
I found them so funny that I decided to translate them
into English as my contribution to the anti-Bush campaign.
Let's see if we can get rid of that fascist pig. A.B.B.
Here you are:
Subject: URGENT! WHEN BUSH DIES
Subject: URGENT! WHEN BUSH DIES
Bush dies and his body lies in state at the White House.
Two immutable cattle raisers are standing on both sides of the casket.
Then, a little old lady appears with a food basket and, before the astonished eyes of the cattle raisers, she starts placing carrots, tomatoes and lettuce inside the casket.
While the old lady was putting the food stuffs in the coffin, one of the cattle breeders asks her:
- Hey, you, lady, please, what are you doing?
While continuing putting food in the casket, the woman replies:
- What do you want? Do you want the little poor worms to eat shit only?
George W. Bush dies and God and the Devil fight against each other because neither of the two wants to welcome him in their premises.
As they don't give up and reach no agreement, they look for mediators.
The mediators come up with an obligatory proposal:
Bush should be in heaven one month and in hell another month.
Bush goes to heaven the first month and God doesn't know what to do with him. He goes crazy. The rancher turns everything upside down:
Bush spies on the elements of prayer and liturgy.
He dissolves the angels' personal advisory system.
He auctions the clouds.
He presents the Devil with a square kilometer of heaven as a gift.
He names Spanish archangels.
He tabs the Saints' communication system.
He replaces the plaques on Saint Peter's doors.
He sends a draft law to the apostles to reform the Ten Commandments and to grant amnesty to Tony Blair.
Everything is privatized in heaven. People don't stand him anymore. God is eager for the 30th day of the month to arrive to get rid of him and send him to hell.
When Bush goes to hell, God breaths with relief. But when the 20th day of the month arrives, he again starts suffering, thinking that he will have to stand him again within ten days. However, the first day of the following month arrives and nothing happens. No news about Bush. The 5th day arrives and nothing, he doesn't show up.
First, God was happy, but later he kept thinking that maybe Bush decided to stay in hell a little bit longer and he will have to stand him in heaven for two months in a row.
... He only thinks about it and gets desperate. So, God decides to call the Devil by phone to ask him what is going on.
An employees picks up the phone and God asks:
- Please, could I talk to the Demon?
- Which one of the two?, replies the employee, the red one with horns or the Yankee son of a bitch?
EVERYONE WHO RECEIVES THIS COMMUNICATION IS RESPONSIBLE
FOR SENDING IT TO ANOTHER TEN FRIENDS IN THE NAME OF PEACE.
IF THE CHAIN STOPS, BUSH COULD BE REELECTED.
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